Forgive... BUT... Don't Forget
UPSIDE DOWN LIVING
August 23-27, 2004

'Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?'Jesus replied, 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, All your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Matthew 22:36-39 (NLT)

People are wired to want to appear to others as "normal," but we all live flawed and broken lives. The Bible portrays examples through the lives of many people: Cain and Abel, Lot and his daughters, Jacob and his brothers, etc. It is a fact of life that people do things to hurt each other. Jesus' most important commandment to us is found in Matthew 22:37-39. It says that we are to love God and one another. We can't do this if we hold grudges against those that have hurt us. What can we do to forgive others? To begin, we need to admit that no one is perfect... we all need help.

MONDAY

1. UPSIDE DOWN LIVING IS WHEN I'M RIGHT WITH GOD & OTHERS

[Your Objective: Understand that following God's way we can achieve success in our relationships.]

According to Matthew 5:23-24, what must we do before making an offering to God?

  • We can have a right relationship with God when we ask for His forgiveness. How can our relation with God be affected if we don't confess our sins and ask His forgiveness?
  • We can have a right relationship with others when we offer forgiveness. How do you think it affects our relationship to God when we come to him with an unforgiving heart?

TUESDAY

In Matthew 18:21-22, how often does Jesus instruct Peter to forgive when wronged?

  • Offering forgiveness to others when we are hurt is difficult. Why are we sometimes hesitant to forgive? Is forgiveness even harder when the same person has harmed us repeatedly? If so, why?

Fellowship (Membership) - God understands that we are all "relationship challenged" at times. Some times more than others. However, God wants us to make pursuing peace job #1, which puts us in right relationship with him and allows us to have successful relationships with others. There is no limit in God's kingdom for forgiveness, as Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice so our sins would be forgiven. He asks that we simply follow in His way. Make it a point this week to focus on forgiveness and mercy in your relationships. If you have a problem or a grievance with someone, make a point to resolve the problem as soon as possible.

WEDNESDAY

2. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T FORGIVE?

[Your Objective: Realize that the cost of not forgiving others is disobedience to God and hurts our own hearts.]

Read Matthew 6:14-15. What will be God's response if we forgive others? What will His response be if we don't?

  • When we don't forgive, we disobey God's instructions. Discuss a time when you were unwilling to forgive someone that wronged you, or think of a current situation. As a Christian, how does it feel to know that you disobeyed God?
  • When we don't forgive, our own anger is intensified. Share with the group a situation where your anger intensified as you continued to harbor ill feelings towards someone, and how it felt once you forgave them.
  • When we don't forgive, we constantly re-live painful experiences. Has this happened in your life? If so, how did it feel to re-live the experience again and again?

Worship (Magnification) - When we don't forgive others, we have made a decision to disobey God. This hinders our ability to be close to and worship God, thus hurting our own hearts. Is there a relationship with a friend or loved one that you need to restore, so that you may again worship God effectively? Ask God to help you forgive them, then worship and praise Him since he has forgiven you.

THURSDAY

3. HOW I CAN BEGIN TO FORGIVE?

[Your Objective: Identify some first steps to forgiving.]

Why are we supposed to forgive others according to Colossians 3:13?

  • What kinds of things do we have the hardest time forgiving?
  • Why is it often difficult to take a first step toward forgiveness? What would be a good first step?
  • How might evaluating what we expect from them help us as we begin the process of forgiving?
  • How can we face letting someone "off the hook" when they don't deserve to be forgiven? What is the greatest model for forgiveness we can have? What will it take for us to begin to take this step?

Discipleship (Maturity) - Spiritual maturity is a process of growing to be more like Christ and is characterized by learning to forgive. Christ is our example as He laid down His life for us who don't deserve to be forgiven. How can this group help one another to grow in the area of forgiveness? Take a few minutes to discuss some specific ways and commit to holding one another accountable for growth in this area.

FRIDAY

PERSONAL APPLICATION AND COMMITMENT:

[Your Objective: Realize that forgiveness is a choice. Identify those you have hurt and what you can do to let go of your "right" to hurt them back.]

Forgiveness is a choice - a choice to forgive and not hold grudges. Growing closer to God through obedience to His command to love God and others, is a very effective way to learn forgiveness. Remember the cross and the forgiveness you received. Then make a personal commitment this week to identify those you need to forgive, determine exactly what you think they owe you, and then choose to cancel their debt to you through forgiveness. Write Colossians 3:13 on a 3 x 5 card and carry it with you this week to help you remember this important lesson.