Lighthouse Baptist Church
and Christian Academy

Being a parent in today's world is more difficult than ever before. So much in our culture is fighting against what we are trying to do. The door to immorality has swung wide open, putting us in a battle for our kids and for our families. It's easy to curse the darkness - but what our kids really need are tactics for finding hope. So the good news is this: kids are God's idea. The family is his design. Our goal is to develop confidence, character, conviction, compassion and competence in our kids in ways that point them to hope in God. This week, we'll look at the first three of ten actions we can take toward that end.

1. BELIEF.

[Your Objective: Understand that one of the key things a child needs is to have a plan for life as well as hope and belief in God; and that as parents and caring adults we play a significant role in instilling a belief in God.]

What does Psalms 127:35 tell us about the value of children?

• How are children influenced by parents and other family members?
• Why is it important to be a hero figure to your children? What can you do to influence a child's belief in God?
• Why is belief such an important part of a child's development? What difference might it make in his/her life?

Read Mark 9:36-37. What does this verse tell us about the value Jesus placed on children?

• Why is it so vital that we demonstrate to children how highly we value them? How do we show them that God values them?
• If you are a parent, what value do you place on this role? Where should our role as a parent rank with our other responsibilities?

Worship (Magnification) - When we treat children as the precious gifts they truly are, we magnify God because this is what his word directs us to do. Raising a child is the most important job that we have as parents and family members. What kind of role model for faith are you in the life of a child? What do you need to stop or start doing to ensure that the children you influence understand the importance of having a Christ-centered life? Take the time this week to reflect upon your role as a parent or influencer. What do you need to do to ensure that a child hears the word and understands the important role that Christ plays in his or her life? Formulate a plan, share your commitment with your small group and pray for guidance.

2. PRESENCE.

[Your Objective: Make the necessary sacrifices to spend more time with the children in your life.]

According to 1 John 1:14, who came to live among us?

• Why was it important for God to make his presence felt on earth?
• In the same way, why is it important for parents to be present in their kids' lives?
• Why is quantity time with children more important than quality time?

What does 2 Timothy 1:14 say about who lives within us?

• How might a child perceive their parent(s) to be inaccessible even when physically present?
• What is the difference between being physically present and being present with you heart?
• In what ways can we learn to rely on the Holy Spirit to help us focus our attention on our children?

Fellowship (Membership) - Part of our purpose in life is to fellowship with others, especially our immediate families. This requires our presence (time). Four ways to develop presence include:

1. Personal Sacrifices
2. Career Sacrifices
3. Ditch The Car Phone (Make the kids your priority and not the cell phone)
4. Focus on them, Face Them, Offer Reflective Feedback

Do any of these apply to you? According to a Harvard study perceived inaccessibility of parents is the number one factor related to rage, anger and hostility in children. What sacrifices do you need to make in order to be more present in your kids' lives? Commit to make one of these sacrifices and share with the group or a partner what step you plan to take. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you as you learn to be more present in your kids' lives.

3. MEMORIES.

[Your Objective: Understand the lasting importance of memories.]

In Deuteronomy 4:9 what would God want us to teach our children and our children's children?

• What are some memories from your childhood that you would share with your children?
• Discuss some creative ways to help your children build memories of their own.

How does God want us to go about seeking wisdom in Proverbs 2:3-6?

• Why is wisdom so important?
• Share ways in which happy, warm memories have influenced your life and the memories you build with your children. Talk about how building these memories can point your kids to God.
• What wisdom could we teach through memories?

Discipleship (Maturity) - It is never too late to start using memories as a discipleship tool. Here are some ideas to get you started: Make up family traditions such as taking blankets to the homeless. Capture these memories with photo's and movies so they can be enjoyed again and again. Make time for family vacations. Include some adventures, like hunting for golf balls in the dark or canoeing on a river. Writing letters to the children in your life provides an opportunity to express how much you care about them and the importance of making Godly choices. You may have to give up an activity you enjoy just for you, but the wisdom you impart will be an investment in your family for generations to come. Decide which of the steps discussed in this point you will adopt, or pick one of your own, and share it with your group. Plan to talk about how it's going in an upcoming meeting.

PERSONAL APPLICATION AND COMMITMENT:

[Your Objective: Recognize your responsibility where young people are concerned and commit to taking action.]

It's easy to get caught up in wanting to provide things for our kids, but as we've studied in this lesson, what they need most is not things - it's a foundation to grow on (belief), you in their lives (presence) and good times to remember you by (memories). Being a parent, as being a Christian, is not about being perfect. None of us can do that. But we can all have good ideals and we can make reaching them our goal. Maybe your childhood memories are painful, and if so, we - as your family in Christ - grieve with you. Let today be the beginning of redeeming those years. Are you willing to act on one of these steps this week? Tell your small group what you have in mind and agree with one another in prayer for God's help in getting there. In our next lesson we'll explore a few more possibilities for giving your kids - or any kids you know - a great start in life.