Raising G-Rated Kids in an X-Rated World
10 Actions Kids Need from Caring Adults (Part 3)
September 5-9, 2005

Although this series about raising G-Rated kids in an X-rated world has focused on parenting, the series is really about relationships in the context of parenting. If parents don't create solid relationships with their children, then their children will seek the relationships they crave elsewhere, often to the dismay of parents (and potentially others). This study wraps up with four final actions kids need from caring adults - affection, responsibility, fun and a peaceful home. Kids need affection - and lots of it. So don't hold back, even when they're older. Kids need to learn responsibility. If they don't learn responsibility as kids, they will most likely be irresponsible as adults. Kids need to have fun. Don't miss out on spending time with them that is unstructured and unstressful! Finally, kids need to have a peaceful home. Home needs to be a shelter from the battles they face in life. If parents learn to experience God's peace, they can provide a peaceful home that is a safe shelter for their children.

MONDAY

7. AFFECTION.

[Your Objective: Emphasize the need for lots of affection for our kids.]

What does 1 John 3:18 tells us about loving others?

  • In what way do our actions versus our words demonstrate our love towards our children?
  • How do children respond when our actions are not consistent with our words?

In Romans 12:10, how should we be devoted to one another, particularly to our children?

  • What are some ways we can we show our devotion to our children?
  • What are some seemingly good reasons we use for not being devoted to our children as we should? What are some typical consequences?

Ministry - Studies have shown that unaffectionate fathers tend to produce boys who can't express themselves emotionally, so they express themselves inappropriately. Girls with unaffectionate fathers tend to become promiscuous and express themselves sexually, seeking affection from boys in the wrong way, some times with serious consequences. This often happens when parents don't accept the responsibility to minister to their children through love and affection due to hurdles and hang-ups from their own past. This only causes suffering on the next generation. If you are having trouble showing affection to your children, confess your need to change and ask the group to hold you accountable. Remember your children may be the most important ministry you ever have in life!

TUESDAY

8. RESPONSIBILITY.

[Your Objective: Grasp how experiencing consequences teaches children to be responsible.]

What practical warning does Proverbs 27:12 give us?

  • In what does this verse speak of consequences? What do consequences teach children?
  • Why is it so difficult for parents to allow their children to experience consequences?
  • What is the danger of protecting our children from living out the consequences of their choices?

Discipleship (Maturity) - Self discipline is an important characteristic of mature, responsible people. Children who are protected from experiencing the consequences of their choices never learn to say "no" to themselves, therefore they never set for themselves the necessary boundaries that enable them to become responsible people. Take some time this week to think about people you know who are not responsible and how their lives could be different if they only made good choices and followed through with them. Then think about your children and the kind of people you want them to grow up to be. Write down a list of ways you can help them to grow up to be responsible. At your next meeting have a brainstorming session where you can share together some of your ideas and commit to work at becoming responsible parents teaching your children to become responsible adults.

WEDNESDAY

9. LIGHTEN UP AND HAVE FUN.

[Your Objective: See how a fun-loving family can impact children both inside and outside your home.]

Read Proverbs 15:13 and 17:22. What heart conditions do these verses speak of and what are their results?

  • Share some of your favorite memories of your family life as you grew up. Why do you think these are so memorable?
  • What are some excuses and reasons why we sometimes fail to take time for having fun with our children?
  • How can a family balance fun and responsibility? What does it take to create an atmosphere of fun?
  • What impact can a fun-loving family have on neighborhood children? What are some ways the friends of your children can be influenced while they are in your home?

Evangelism (Mission) - Christian families can effectively influence the friends of their children by modeling the importance of fun, discipline, love, and what a relationship with Christ looks like. Consider how your family experiences can be shared with the children in your sphere of influence. Are there things you might do differently or begin to do, so the children around you can see that God loves them through you and your family? Write down your thoughts and commit to one thing you can begin to do this week.

THURSDAY

10. A PEACEFUL HOME.

[Your Objective: Recognize the relationship between peace with God and a peaceful home.]

How did Christ's sacrifice on the cross affect God's relationship with His creation, according to Colossians 1:20? What was God's reaction?

  • Judging by Paul's words in the verse we just read, how important are peaceful relationships to God?
  • How would you describe your relationship with God before Christ entered your life? Discuss this as a group.
  • What difference has Christ made? How would you say that difference is reflected in your home?

Read Romans 8:6 and describe the action of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

  • What first step do we each need to take in order for the Holy Spirit's influence to impact our lives?
  • Before He can influence our thinking, what do we need to yield to the Holy Spirit?
  • In what way should the Holy Spirit's presence manifest itself in our homes?

According to Romans 5:1, how does being made right with God affect our relationship with Him?

  • What separates us from God and why is faith in Christ's sacrifice essential for peace with God?
  • Before we can experience peace in our homes, what needs to happen in each of our lives?
  • Spend a few moments discussing what Christ's sacrifice means to you personally.

Fellowship (Membership) - At home, family members should be able to feel safe, loved, accepted, welcomed, and know they are free to be themselves. If we truly believe that other Christians are our family members in Christ, are we making them feel at home in our lives? Talk about this extension of the parenting concept. What actions are evidence of our relationship with Christ and how do they increase the volume of peace in our lives? Before you wrap up your group session, make sure everyone in your small group knows they are a valued member of God's family.

FRIDAY

PERSONAL APPLICATION AND COMMITMENT:

[Your Objective: Affirm your commitment to the ten actions kids need from caring adults - and all believers need from one another.]

Over the last three sessions, we have looked at ten actions kids need from caring adults in order to help them win life's battles. In truth, these are actions we need to apply to all our relationships. In your group, review these actions and renew your commitment to God:

Belief - relationships can be tough, but I know they are important; Presence - getting ahead may be what some think matters, but I will be there when others need me; Memories - it's easy to say, "I'll do it later," but I will create and capture moments now; Encouragement - we all tend to judge each other's performance, but I choose to love you and believe in you, no matter what; Role Models - Others may say, "Do as I say," but I try to live what I say; Discipline - Others may advise me to be tough, but I choose to guide with love; Affection - Others say, "Give them space," but I choose to show affection generously; Fun - Life tells us to hurry, but I say, "Slow down, laugh, and enjoy"; Responsibility - It's easy to lay the blame on others, but I say, "Own the consequences and keep learning"; A Peaceful Home - Life is often stormy, so I'll create a shelter by getting right with God.

If you are not empowered by His presence, all this is just good advice. If you have not made that critical decision yet, make sure you do it now. Know his presence; know his peace.