Adventure Management
Choose Your Own Adventure - Part 3: Relationships
August 7-11, 2006

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Ephesians 4:15-16 (NIV)

When we think about relationships, we don't usually think about anatomy. Looking at the anatomy of the human body, however, we see it as a shining example of God's amazing handiwork, where all the parts of the human body form a cohesive whole entity that provides a home for our minds and souls while here on earth. And just as anatomy applies to the parts of the human body, anatomy can also apply to healthy relationships. It's about thinking, seeing, hearing, saying, touching, feeling and walking in a manner that allows us to fully express Christ in deep and meaningful relationships. This study challenges you to perform a self-administered "check up" on your relationships and show ways you can make them as healthy as possible.

Anatomy of Healthy Relationships

MONDAY

1. TO THINK "I'M BETTER TOGETHER"
[Your Objective: Embrace God's idea that we are made to be in fellowship with one another.]

According to Romans 12:5, how does Paul view the relationship of one believer to another?

  • What happens when a person does not feel connected to other people?
  • How can people overcome the pressure to be self-sufficient so they can relate to others in the same way a healthy body works together?

What benefits of relationship are outlined in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10?

  • How can these examples help us be more willing to accept help from another person?

Fellowship (Membership) - Because believers are all part of one body, we need one another to fulfill God's work on earth. What are some ways you can offer help to others in need? What challenges are you facing that could be easier with the help of another member of the group?

TUESDAY

2. TO SEE WHAT COULD BE
[Your Objective: Be willing to see potential in others and in relationships.]

How does Paul exhort believers to affirm one another in 1 Thessalonians 5:11?

Jesus sees us as we will be. What surprising view of Peter did Jesus have in John 1:42?

  • Why is it easier to see a person's shortcomings rather than encourage them to become what they can be?
  • How can we encourage people who seem to be far from fulfilling their potential?
  • What did Jesus see in Peter? How can our words, either of encouragement or discouragement, impact others?

Worship (Magnification) - Honoring God's creation and trusting in God's power are expressions of how we view God. Take a few minutes to pray together. Go around the group and praise God for something valuable you see in the way He created each member.

WEDNESDAY

3. TO HEAR WHAT'S GOING ON
[Your Objective: Commit to listening more than speaking.]

What is the exhortation for believers in James 1:19?

  • Why is it often difficult for us to take the time to really listen to other people?
  • How can we learn more about a situation by listening beyond the face value of words that are spoken?
  • What are clues a person might reveal about a circumstance even when they are reluctant to tell all?

Ministry - In order to meet others' needs, we need to listen to them. Where do you need to improve your listening skills in order to be more effective in ministry? As a group, or individually, consider a need that you can meet.

THURSDAY

4. TO SAY WHAT MOST WON'T
[Your Objective: Recognize the critical need to speak up for what is true.]

What does Ephesians 4:15 say about speaking the truth in love?

In Mark 8:33, after rebuking Peter, what did Jesus say about Peter's perspective?

  • When someone needs to hear the truth, why do we hold back?
  • How can fear affect our willingness to speak when we should?
  • Why does speaking the truth in love reveal our concern for a person? How can this bring about change?

Discipleship (Maturity) - As we grow spiritually we gain wisdom to express ourselves in ways that impact others spiritually. Who do you know that needs to change their ways and could be encouraged by helping them focus their thoughts on the Lord? How can you say what they need to hear when others fail to confront them? What can you say that will be helpful without making them feel they've been lectured?

FRIDAY

5. TO TOUCH THROUGH SERVANTHOOD
[Your Objective: Grasp the effectiveness of physical acts of service in revealing Christ to others.]

Jesus spoke to his disciples about how they should be different from those in the world. In Matthew 20:20-21, 24-28, what ways did He say His followers should be different?

  • How do people respond when others "lord it over" them, as opposed to when others humbly serve them?

In 1 John 3:18, what is John's exhortation about loving one another?

  • How does John address his listeners? What does this reveal about the relationship he feels is appropriate among believers?
  • When John speaks of loving "with words or tongue," how does he portray the depth of the relationship?
  • How would people respond when we express our love for one another in actions rather than just in words?

Ministry - Jesus came to earth to be a servant. Now that He has returned to heaven, our responsibility is to continue the work He started. What are some practical ways we can reach out to serve those in need around us? Choose a group member to research some Local PEACE projects you can take part in over the next few months.

6. TO FEEL EMPATHY FOR HURTS
[Your Objective: Understand the need for Christ-like compassion in order to develop deep relationships.]

How are we to respond when others are hurting, according to Galatians 6:2?

  • In what way can we show empathy to someone who is hurting?
  • Why do we often keep relationships on a surface level?
  • How do we reveal empathy through our questions?

Evangelism (Mission) - When people are hurting they are often open to hearing the message of Christ. Too often we want to share a poem or verse and walk away. Mother Teresa said that empathy is your pain in my heart. We can show others they matter to us by asking questions that demonstrate the depth of our concern. As you model God's caring heart, others will be drawn to Jesus through your actions. With whom has God been calling you to share His compassion? Pray and ask God for the words and actions to take that relationship to a deeper level.

SATURDAY

7. TO WALK THROUGH TOUGH TIMES
[Your Objective: Be willing to embrace life's difficulties as bridges for building relationships.]

What does Proverbs 18:24 say about the depth of true friendship?

  • In what ways can it be frustrating to relate to acquaintances at a superficial level when they are in pain?
  • What Christian virtues are we challenged to exhibit as we walk with friends who are experiencing tough times?

Fellowship (Membership) - Our society places such value on self-sufficiency and success that we often view difficulty with fear and want to avoid it. Yet God calls us to share intimate fellowship during these times. How can sharing our problems, as well as embracing the trials of others, promote healthy relationships and community? Who in your sphere of influence is experiencing a difficulty or hurt that you are willing to walk through with them?

PERSONAL APPLICATION AND COMMITMENT:
[Your Objective: Risk going beneath the surface in relationship with others, knowing God desires depth.]

Think about the relationships that matter most to you. This week, go back over the points in this lesson and evaluate your role on a scale of 1-10 using the icons next to each point.

  • Do you realize that community is God's idea, and that you're better together with others?
  • Do you see potential in those you love?
  • Are you a safe listener - one who lets others share their hearts without interjecting your opinions?
  • Do you love enough to gently confront with the healing balm of truth?
  • Are you willing to battle selfishness through small acts of service?
  • How long has it been since another's pain hurt you as well?
  • Are you the kind of friend who holds on through the storms of life?

What relationship risk do you plan to take as a result of this lesson? Consider this truth: people who do relationships well are people who have given their hearts to God. He has infused them with His presence and changed them. If you haven't fully surrendered your heart to God in relationship with Him, begin by doing that now. Allow Him to change you, and then to change you in relationship with others.