FOCUS ON YOUR CHILD
WHY YOUR CHILD NEEDS YOUR DISCIPLINE - PART ONE

King David grew old. The years had caught up with him. Even though they piled blankets on him, he couldn't keep warm. So his servants said to him, "We're going to get a young virgin for our master the king to be at his side and look after him"; So they searched the country of Israel for the most ravishing girl they could find; they found Abishag and brought her to the king. The girl was stunningly beautiful; she stayed at his side and looked after the king. At this time Adonijah,... puffed himself up saying, "I'm the next king!" He made quite a splash, with chariots and riders and fifty men to run ahead of him. His father had spoiled him rotten as a child, never once reprimanding him. Besides that, he was very good-looking and the next in line after Absalom.

1 Kings 1:1-6 (MSG)

Lessons from a Father who did not discipline his child

  1. He never interfered by opposing or questioning his son
  2. Adonijah did not know how to work within limits
  3. Adonijah always wanted his way
  4. Adonijah did whatever he wanted

An undisciplined child may look cute to his/her parents but an undisciplined adult destroys himself and others.

1. My child may lack concern for character development

What does a child look like who gets no discipline:

  1. They loose their temper
  2. They argue with adults
  3. They defy or refuse to obey with your requests
  4. They deliberately annoy others
  5. They blame others of their own mistakes
  6. They're touchy or easily annoyed
  7. They're angry and resentful, spiteful or vindictive
  8. They like to bully or intimidate others
  9. They often lie
  10. They are defiant
  11. They are cruel to animals and people

A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them.

Proverbs 13:24 (MSG)

Lessons learned by no discipline

  1. Lack of discipline puts parents' love in question because it shows a lack of concern for the character development of their children.
  2. Disciplining children averts long-range disaster
  3. Without correction, children grow up with no clear understanding of right and wrong and with little direction to their lives.

Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves.

Hebrews 12:8 (MSG)

Who loves his child more - the father who allows the child to do what will harm him, or the one who corrects, trains, and even punishes the child to help him learn what is right? It's never pleasant to be corrected and disciplined by God, but his discipline is a sign of his deep love for us. When God corrects you, see it as proof of his love and ask him what he is trying to teach you.

Hebrews 12:5-11 (CEV)

2. My child may never know how much I love him/her

Next Adonijah held a coronation feast, sacrificing sheep, cattle, and grain-fed heifers. He invited all his brothers, the king's sons, and everyone in Judah who had position and influence

1 Kings 1:9 (MSG)

3. My child may undermine me when I am old if I do not discipline

[Adonijah] did not invite the prophet Nathan, Benaiah, the bodyguards, or his brother Solomon.

1 Kings 1:10 (MSG)

4. My child may not follow the ways of God if I do give discipline

Nathan went to Bathsheba, Solomon's mother, "Did you know that Adonijah, has taken over as king, and our master David doesn't know a thing about it? Quickly now, let me tell you how you can save both your own life and Solomon's. Go immediately to King David. Speak up: 'Didn't you, my master the king, promise me, "Your son Solomon will be king after me and sit on my throne"? So why is Adonijah now king?' While you're there talking with the king, I'll come in and corroborate your story." Bathsheba went at once to the king in his palace bedroom. He was so old! Abishag was at his side making him comfortable. As Bathsheba bowed low, honoring the king, he said, "What do you want?" "My master," she said, "you promised me in God's name, 'Your son Solomon will be king after me and sit on my throne.'

And now look what's happened - Adonijah has taken over as king, and my master the king doesn't even know it!"

1 Kings 1:11-18 (MSG)

5. My child may take all my belongings without discussing any plans with me

My master the king, every eye in Israel is watching you to see what you'll do - to see who will sit on the throne of my master the king after him. If you fail to act, the moment you're buried my son Solomon and I are as good as dead.

1 Kings 1:20-21 (MSG)

6. My child may not respect or look after my spouse when I am dead

[The news of Solomon just anointed King of Israel, Adonijah's guests] Panicked, Adonijah's guests got out of there, scattering every which way. But Adonijah himself, afraid for his life because of Solomon, fled to the sanctuary and grabbed the horns of the Altar.

1 Kings 1:49-50 (MSG)

7. My child may seek God if his/her life is threatened

Look at this list of Character traits and determine which trait you are weak in teaching to your child.

  • Honest
  • Light-hearted
  • Leader
  • Expert
  • Brave
  • Conceited
  • Mischievous
  • Demanding
  • Thoughtful
  • Bright
  • Courageous
  • Serious
  • Funny
  • Humorous
  • Sad
  • Poor
  • Rich
  • Tall
  • Dark
  • Humble
  • Friendly
  • Short
  • Adventurous
  • Hard-working
  • Timid
  • Shy
  • Bold
  • Daring
  • Dainty
  • Happy
  • Disagreeable
  • Simple
  • Fancy
  • Light
  • Handsome
  • Pretty
  • Ugly
  • Pitiful
  • Cooperative
  • Lovable
  • Prim
  • Plain
  • Excited
  • Studious
  • Inventive
  • Creative
  • Thrilling
  • Independent
  • Intelligent
  • Compassionate
  • Gentle
  • Proud
  • Wild
  • Messy
  • Neat
  • Joyful
  • Strong
  • Selfish
  • Unselfish
  • Self-confident
  • Respectful
  • Considerate
  • Imaginative
  • Busy
  • Patriotic
  • Fun-loving
  • Popular
  • Successful
  • Responsible
  • Lazy
  • Dreamer
  • Helpful
  • Simple-minded
  • Proper
  • Ambitious
  • Able
  • Quiet
  • Curious
  • Reserved
  • Pleasing
  • Bossy
  • Witty
  • Fighter
  • Tireless
  • Energetic
  • Cheerful
  • Smart
  • Impulsive
  • Loyal

Why does your child need your discipline? So that they will not lack in:

  1. Character development
  2. My love
  3. Family Principles
  4. Christian faith
  5. Financial stability
  6. Family Respect
  7. A relationship with God

Prayer:

God, help me to meet the needs of my child by providing the necessary guidance in their life. Help me to develop my child's character, give unconditional love, share family principles, follow my Christian faith, teach financial stability, show family respect and a relationship with you. In Jesus' name.