When You Have A Broken Heart
Turn For Help, Part 3

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalms 34:18 (NIV)

How many of you have ever been broken hearted before, raise your hands?
How many of you can still remember what the issue was that broke your heart?

Broken hearted is defined by Webster's Dictionary as "crushed by sorrow, grief, or disappointment. Grieving deeply over your losses."

When your life has become unmanageable, turn to GOD FOR HELP!

I am worn out from sobbing. Every night tears drench my bed; my pillow is wet from weeping.

Psalms 6:6 (NLT)

I am weak and faint. I moan from the pain I feel.

Psalms 38:8 (NCV)

What does it feel like when something has happened so great that you start to see your life as unmanageable?

Troubles have come again and again, sounding like waterfalls. Your waves are crashing all around me.

Psalms 42:7 (NCV)

He who leans on, trusts in, and is confident of his own mind and heart is a [self-confident] fool, but he who walks in skillful and godly Wisdom shall be delivered.

Proverbs 28:26 (AMP)

God says you may break His heart sometime during your Christian life, when you do this happens...

1. When I break God's heart, I need to look at what I did from His point of view

The word of the LORD came to me: "Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem: 'I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown. Israel was holy to the LORD, the firstfruits of his harvest; all who devoured her were held guilty, and disaster overtook them,' declares the LORD... 'What fault did your fathers find in me, that they strayed so far from me? They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves... Therefore I bring charges against you again,' declares the LORD. 'And I will bring charges against your children's children. Be appalled at this, O heavens, and shudder with great horror,' declares the LORD."

Jeremiah 2:1-12 (NIV)

2. When I break God's heart, I manage my life without God's help

My life has been blown away like a shepherd's tent in a storm. It has been cut short, as when a weaver cuts cloth from a loom. Suddenly, my life was over. I waited patiently all night, but I was torn apart as though by lions. Suddenly, my life was over. Delirious, I chattered like a swallow or a crane, and then I moaned like a mourning dove. My eyes grew tired of looking to heaven for help. I am in trouble, Lord. Help me!

Isaiah 38:12-14 (NLT)

3. When I break God's heart, my problems become intensified

[Jesus] felt great pity for the crowds that came, because their problems were so great and they didn't know where to go for help.

Matthew 9:36 (NLT)

FIVE WAYS YOU BEHAVE WHEN YOUR HEART IS BROKEN

A) When your heart is broken, you have the tendency to blame others

the woman's son became sick. He grew worse and worse, and finally he died. She then said to Elijah, "O man of God, what have you done to me? Have you come here to punish my sins by killing my son?"

1 Kings 17:17-18 (NLT)

Have you said things like this?

  1. Look at what he's doing?
  2. Look how long I've waited.
  3. Why doesn't she call?
  4. If only he'd change, then I'd be happy.

You may begin to believe that the solution to your pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what you want.

Recovery is all about taking responsibility for your actions. You will inevitable lapse into unhealthy behaviors. Only by accepting responsibility for those behaviors and seeking God's help can you grow into health and wholeness.

When your heart is broken, you may ask yourself...

  1. Why is this happening to me?
  2. What am I supposed to learn from this experience?
  3. Why does God make me wait so long?
  4. Why?

You have no idea how your present circumstance will work into the larger scheme of events. When you can't sense God's presence, and you can't hold his hand, trust His Heart!

B) When you heart is broken, you have the tendency to be disappointed

  1. Peter denied Jesus
  2. Sara laughed at Abraham when God said she would become pregnant
  3. Job said in Job 6:18 "Such is my disappointment in you, the friends I fully trusted."
  4. When Isaac and Rebekah knew Esau had married the wrong person Genesis 26:34-35 (NJB) When Esau was forty years old he married Judith... These were a bitter disappointment to Isaac and Rebekah.

Your best friend,
Your spouse
Your friends
Your children, can disappoint you the extent your heart is broken!

Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick.

Proverbs 13:12 (MSG)

C) When your heart is broken, you have the tendency to hold on to your hurt

Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

Genesis 37:3-4 (NIV)

Parents when you show favoritism or unfavoritism to your children, you can become the source of your children's heart break. No one is left unharmed. Don't be the source of heart break to your family.

Joseph and Israel were affected by their brother's broken hearts.
Joseph turned to God for help. He didn't hold on to his hurt.
Israel turned inside himself and clammed up.

D) When your heart is broken, you have the tendency to treat others brutally

When Joseph's brothers saw him coming, they recognized him in the distance and made plans to kill him. "Here comes that dreamer!" they exclaimed. "Come on, let's kill him and throw him into a deep pit. We can tell our father that a wild animal has eaten him. Then we'll see what becomes of all his dreams!"

Genesis 37:18-20 (NLT)

E) When your heart is broken, you have the tendency to cover your hurt with "get even" behavior

So they took Joseph's robe, killed a goat, and dipped the robe in the blood. Then they brought the special robe with long sleeves to their father and said, "We found this. You better examine it to see whether it's your son's robe or not." He recognized it and said, "It is my son's robe! A wild animal has eaten him! Joseph must have been torn to pieces!"

Genesis 37:31-33 (GW)

The boys who were broken hearted got even with Joseph and their father. "Get even" behavior will always come back to hurt you.

"Get Even" may seem like the only response you can give,

  1. to your child
  2. to your spouse
  3. to your friend

Don't ever say, "I'll get you for that!" Wait for God; he'll settle the score.

Proverbs 20:22 (MSG)

When my heart is broken I should

  1. Let go of any attempt to get even

  2. Let God give my heart comfort

    the Counselor, the Holy Spirit... will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

    John 14:25-27 (NIV)

  3. Let God be intimate with me

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalms 34:18 (NIV)

God does not expect cheerfulness
God does not reject you
God is compassionate and responsive, He is close - not far away

Expressing difficult emotions is met with rejection and emotional withdrawal. It is this kind of emotional distance that we now expect from God.

It's not easy to trust God, to be close to you, when you are broken-hearted.
It's not easy to allow yourself the vulnerability of such closeness.

God is eager to help and heal, to restore and save you when your spirit has been crushed.

Prayer:

God, I know I've broken your heart before. I'm sorry. I know I have the tendency to blame others, be disappointed, hold on to my hurt, or treat others disrespectfully, and even get even just to make myself feel better. I choose to let you settle the wrong, bring healing to my heart, and peace to my spirit. In Jesus name, Amen.