WHAT MATTERS MOST
50 Days of Love
Part 1 of 8
Gerry White
October 31, 2004

Luke 12, Jesus says, "There was a rich man whose lands produced bountiful harvest. He asked himself, 'What should I do for I don't have enough space to store my goods?' [In other words, God is blessing him so much he doesn't know what to do with all the blessings.] Then he says, 'Here's what I'll do. I'll tear down my barns and I'll build larger ones. Then I'll say to myself, "I have so many good things stored up for me. Now rest, eat, drink and be merry."' But God said to him, 'You fool. This night your life will be demanded of you and then to whom will all your things belong?' Thus will it be for anyone who stores up treasure for himself but is not rich in what matters to God."

This guy only thought of himself. It didn't occur to him that maybe God was blessing him so he could be a blessing to other people. That maybe God had given him things that God wanted him to share with the less fortunate.

Evidently, all he thought was "I'll build a bigger barn. I'll put some of my stuff in mini storage. I don't have a place for it myself.

  • I've got so much.
  • I'll just have to go out and rent some more storage.
  • I won't give any of it away.
  • I won't bless anybody else.
  • I'll just keep amassing and say, 'Look how much stuff I've got.' And God says, "You are missing what matters most in life."

So what does matter most to God?

If you are a follower of Christ Jesus all that matters is your faith that makes you love others.

Galatians 5:6

God says what matters in life is not your accomplishments or your achievements or your fame or your wealth.

What matters in life is one thing. All that matters is your faith that makes you love other people. He says if you miss that, you have missed the most important thing in life.

Today we're going to begin a new series I'm calling "50 Days of Love." We're going to look at the most famous chapter in the Bible on love, 1 Corinthians 13.

1. If I don't live a life of love, nothing I say will matter.

If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth, but I didn't love others I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a claiming symbol.

1 Corinthians 13:1

God says words without love are just noise. Words without love are empty.

We're really impressed by great speakers, great communicators. We love eloquence. We love charisma. We love to hear somebody really ring our chimes and really stir us. God says, "That doesn't impress Me at all. I don't care how good of communicator you are. I want to know if you love. Is your life a life of love?"

2. If I don't live a life with love, nothing I know will matter.

I may have the gift of prophecy. I may understand all the secret things of God. I may have all knowledge. But if I do not have love, then I am nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:2

You may be Phi Beta Kappa, you may be a genius, brilliant, a walking Bible encyclopedia, have incredible knowledge of science or math or literature or history. But He says if you don't have love in your life, all that you know is worthless. It doesn't really matter. Brilliance without love equals zero.

3. If I don't live a life with love, nothing I believe will matter.

Following Christ is much more than believing intellectual facts or doctrinal truths. It's a life of love. The Bible says, "Even if I have the gift of faith so I could speak to a mountain and make it move [In other words, a miracle worker], I will still be worth nothing at all without love." It takes more than belief to please God.

4. If I don't live a life of love, nothing I give will matter.

"If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body [In other words, I became a martyr - sacrificial giving], but I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever." Can you be in a relationship and give for selfish motives? Absolutely, you can. Giving is not necessarily always loving.

4 wrong motives

  1. Some people give just in order to get back. That's not love. I'm going to give to you because I know you're going to give back to me. That's not love. That's selfishness.
  2. Some people give out of guilt, to try to assuage a guilty conscious so they give and give and give trying to make up for something they did in the past.
  3. Some people give to control other people. Parents do this all the time - the way they give to their kids in order to try to control them.
  4. Some people give for prestige, for glory, for honor. They want a little plague that says, "Look! I'm a great giver!" That's not love.

You can give for a lot of wrong motives, and the Bible says if I'm not doing this in love, none of my giving counts. And nothing I give will matter.

5. If I don't live a life of love, nothing I accomplish will matter.

No matter what I say or what I believe or what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

1 Corinthians 13:3

God says - relationships are more important than accomplishments. Life is about relationships not accomplishments.

Let me summarize it like this. God says I can have the eloquence of an orator, the knowledge of a genius, the faith of a miracle worker, the generosity of a philanthropist, the achievements of a superstar, but if I don't have love in my heart, it is worth zero. It doesn't count. The only thing that matters to God is do I love Him and do I love other people?

Definition: What is love?

1. The Bible says that love is a command.

God commands that we love each other. It's not optional. If we don't do it, the Bible says that we are sinning.

Love means doing what God has commanded.

2 John 1:6

Some of you say, "I can live without love." No, you can't. You can exist without love, but you can't live without it. And you can't please God without it because the Bible says God has commanded us to love each other.

Love is not a feeling. It creates feeling. It produces feelings. Love causes feelings, but love is not an emotion. If you think it is, you have a very shallow understanding of love. It creates emotion, but love is not an emotion. So you need to understand that.

God would never command you to do something that He doesn't give you the power and the ability to do. And you can't always control an emotion.

2. The Bible says that love is a choice.

We choose to love, and we choose to not love. It's a choice.

Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it because it does.

1 Corinthians 14:1

That means make a choice. Decide. Choose. A volitional act of the will. Love is a choice. We choose to love or to not love.

Someone said - I fell into love. Like it's a big ditch or something. I fell in love. "Help! I've fallen in love, and I can't get up!" As if I have no control over my choice to love or not love.

Have any of you gotten up in the middle of the night with a kid that was sick? That's love. Have any of you ever been kind and patient with your mate when they were grumpy and grouchy?

One guy was asked, "Do you wake up grumpy in the morning?" He said, "No, I usually let her sleep."

Love is giving a person what they need, not what they deserve. That's what God does.

3. The Bible says that love is a conduct.

It's a behavior. It's an action. It's a way of acting. Love is something you do.

Let us stop just saying we love people. Let us really love them and show it by our actions.

1 John 3:18

  • Love is not something you feel.
  • Love is not something you say.

Love is something you do. It's behavior. It's actions. It's an activity. It's more than just talk. It's more than just sentimental feeling. It's more than a nice pretty Hallmark card. It's not sentimentality.

A guy was telling his girlfriend all the time, "I would die for you." She said, "You're always saying that, but you never do it." Love is something you do.

4. The Bible says that love is a commitment.

God is love. If we keep on loving others, we will stay one in our hearts with God and He will stay one with us.

1 John 4:16

Our relationship with God is largely affected by our relationship with other people. If we stay in love, then we will keep in one with our hearts with God, and He'll stay in one with us. Because God is love.

  • Love keeps on.
  • Love is durable.
  • Love keeps on giving whether you like it or not.
  • Love keeps on keeping on.

5 things that you can do this week that will help you get on the road to becoming a truly great lover, a truly great person of love. Because this is what matters most in life.

1. Learn how mature love acts and responds.

Personal change always begins with a change in perspective. It involves getting God's perspective on what love is really like.

2. Start your day with a daily reminder to love.

The first 10 minutes of your day sets your entire mood for the rest of the day. If you'll get up in the morning and say, "God, I just want to remind myself that the most important thing is love. Loving You and loving other people. What matters more than accomplishments are relationships."

3. Memorize what God says about love.

The Bible says, "Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against Thee." We need to reprogram our minds, repattern our thought life from selfish thoughts to unselfish thoughts to be more loving in the way God wants us to be.

4. Practice acting in unselfish, loving ways.

Love is like a muscle. The more you use it, the more it develops. Practice makes perfect.

When you want to become a great lover, a truly loving person, you have to intentionally do some things that seem awkward at first. They don't fit. They don't seem natural.

But if you'll practice, the more you practice, the more it becomes second nature and you become a genuinely loving person. By the way, there are no natural lovers. It's all learned through practice.

5. Get support from other loving people.

You'll never learn to love sitting by yourself in your room and reading a book. You only learn it in connection to others, in the context of community, in the environment of relationships. You've got to get with people if you're going to learn to be a great loving person.

That's one of the reasons why a small group is so good. It's put you in a group who are not part of your family, who are totally different from you, and you have to learn to get close to them. That's how you learn to love. That's how you develop skills. You never learn it just sitting back and listening. You learn it in relationship to other people.

These five building blocks are so important that we have planned the entire next 50 days built around these five things. We're going to do all five of these, and we're starting them today.

"My 50 Days of Love Commitment Card."

  1. I will attend a 50 Days of Love Bible study small group to get connected with others.
  2. I will read the 50 days of Love devotions to get connected with God.
  3. I will participate in one of our expressions of love community projects - see our list at Grand Central.
  4. I will memorize a short Bible verse each week to put God's word in my heart.
  5. I will attend the eight messages on building a life of love and grow in relationships.

Nothing is more important than what we're going to study in the next 50 days. Yes, you're going to have to do a little schedule rearranging. We're not asking you to do this the rest of your life. Just eight weeks to focus on this.

We've got a lot to learn together, but fortunately we have a model.

Keep company with God and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something back but to give everything of Himself to us. Love like that.

Ephesians 5:2

"In this life we have three lasting qualities: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Why is love the greatest? Because it's going to last forever. Nothing matters more than what we're going to talk about the next eight weeks. I hope you'll participate in all five steps.

Prayer:

Father, I don't know if I've ever been more excited about a plan to help these wonderful people develop and strengthen their love. I can hardly wait to see the miracles and the changes that are going to take place, what You're going to do in our lives, in our careers, in our relationships, in our families and friends. Right now, Lord, our world desperately needs massive doses of love. There are people here today who are afraid of the future. Yet You've said, "There is no fear in love." My prayer is that we won't just think and talk and listen about love and be spectators. But we'll actually become more loving people.

As we close, I want you to ask God a question and wait for an answer. "God, do You want me to grow in love during this emphasis?" If the answer in your heart, the impression in your mind - the little tugging - is yes, then I want you to pray this prayer: "Dear God, I really do want to become a more loving person. I don't want to be a shallow lover. I want to be a mature loving person. I want to develop healthy, authentic relationships, so I'm willing to take these five first steps in faith. I'm going to give You the next 50 days of my life. I know it will be busy, but I want to thank You, God, in advance for all that You're going to do in my life and in my relationships during the next 50 days. I'm going to focus on what matters most. In Jesus' name. Amen."