LOVE IS KIND
50 Days of Love
Part 2 of 8
Gerry White
October 20-21, 2001

We're continuing in our series of "50 Days of Love" this week as we look at Part 2. The Bible says, "Love is kind." As we go through, verse by verse, this great chapter on love - 1 Corinthians 13 - the Bible says that we need to be kind.

What is kindness? Kindness is love in action. Last week I said love is not a feeling.

  • It is something you do.
  • It creates feelings.
  • It produces feelings, enormous emotions.

But love is not a feeling; it is an action. It is a belief that you put in your behavior. The Bible says that love is kindness in action.

Jesus once told a story to illustrate this truth. It's called the Good Samaritan. It's a famous story.

Jesus tells this story of three men who are traveling on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho, which is a very notorious road, known for muggers and thieves. They all encounter a crime scene. Each of these three men responds to the crime scene in a different way. Jesus says these three men represent your three choices in life. You're going to go through life with one of three attitudes toward the people around you, particularly the people in pain.

The first attitude is what I call the Keep My Distance attitude. The Bible says this:

There was a man going down from Jerusalem to Jericho when robbers attacked him, stripped him, beat him up and left him half dead. It so happened that a priest was going down that road. But when he saw the man he walked on by the other side.

Luke 10:30-31

This is what I call the lifestyle of avoidance, or keep my distance.

  • Don't ever get close to people because they might ask you for help.
  • Don't ever get close to people because you might be needed by them.
  • Keep your distance.
  • Keep all your relationships superficial.
  • Keep them shallow. Be distant.
  • Keep people at an arm's length.

Because if you get close, you might get involved. And if you get involved you might get hurt. This guy's walking down the road. He sees a guy who's been beaten, mugged, left for dead on the side of the road, and he says, I'll just keep my distance and go on my business on the other side of the road.

The second is what I call the Curious but Uninvolved. The Bible says:

In the same way a Levite also came there. He went over, looked at the man and then walked on by on the other side.

Luke 10:32

A Levite was not a jeans salesman. He was a temple assistant. This guy's even worse. He walks over across the street, sees this guy victimized, laying there, beaten half dead, naked, bleeding to death, looks at him - stares at him - walks back to the other side and keeps on walking.

We like to stare at accidents, but we don't want to stop at them. Traffic always slows down with an accident because of the gawkers. We want to stare. What's happening over there? Is it a fender bender? Did anybody get hurt? Did anybody get killed? But does anybody want to stop? No. We want to stare but not stop. This is the curious but not involved.

The third response is the response of the Good Samaritan. Treat Others How I Want to be Treated. The Bible says:

A Samaritan who was traveling that way came upon the man and when he saw him his heart was filled with pity.

Luke 10:33

If you want to grow in love - then you're going to have to learn the lifestyle of kindness.

Four things that I need to do, that you need to do, if we're going to learn to be kinder, loving people.

1. Start seeing the needs of people around me.

Kindness always begins with the eyes - the way you look, the way you see. It always begins with your vision, the way you observe things, the way you are sensitive to the needs of other people. If you're not aware of needs, you can't care about those needs. You have to see the need first. The Bible says:

When he saw the man's condition, his heart went out to him.

Luke 10:33

That is the starting point.

There are wounded people all over the world. There are wounded people sitting on the very row you're sitting in right now. But you don't just see it. Why don't we see the wounds of the people around us? One word - busyness. Hurry is the death of kindness.

If you don't get anything else I say today, I want you to get this. If you're going to learn to be a kinder person, you've got to slow down. You don't see it unless you slow down.

Let's say you're going to take a trip across country. You're married, you've got a family, and you want them to see what America is really like. You're going to go from the West Coast to the East Coast. You've got a lot of different opportunities for transportation. You could take the plane. That would get you to the East Coast fastest, but you won't see much of the country. Because the faster you go, the less you see.

You could take a train, which would be slower than a plane. You would see definitely a lot more because you're going slower. On the other hand, if you took a car trip with your family, you'd go even slower than a train and you'd see even more. But if you really wanted to see the country, you'd walk. If you'd walk, you'd see more of America than if you took a plane.

If you want to see it, you've got to slow down. The slower you go, the more you see.

The Bible says this:

Look out for the good of others.

1 Corinthians 10:24

The first step to kindness is to ask God to give you spiritual radar, that you would be on the lookout for people in need around you who are hurting emotionally, spiritually, physically and in any other way.

  • Those who need help.
  • Those who need encouragement.
  • Those who need concern.
  • Those who need a pat on the back.

Application

  1. I'm going to ask you to rate yourself on these four qualities of kindness. One would be "I need to work on this," and five would be "Everything's great."
    • How would those you work with rate you on sensitivity?
    • How would your children, if you have kids, rate you on your sensitivity to their needs?
    • How would your spouse rate you on sensitivity?
    • How would your neighbors rate you? Do you even know anything about your neighbors? Are you sensitive to their needs?
  2. If I were to ask you to make a list: In one column, you write the name of every person you come in contact with on at least an every-other-day basis. You work with them, you live with them, whatever. Make a list of their names. Then right next to their name put the No. 1 struggle they're facing right now. I wonder how many blanks would be on that sheet.

Evaluate yourselves on a one to five basis. Do you need work in this area, or is everything going great?

We need to start seeing and stop ignoring.

The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others, harvests a crop of weeds. All they have to show for his life is weeds.

Galatians 6:8 (The Message paraphrase)

The fact is, it's not always easy to see the needs of other people, especially when they're on the other side of the road. But it's the starting point of kindness. Kindness starts with the way you look at things. You must start seeing the needs of the people around you. It starts with sensitivity.

2. The second thing the Good Samaritan did was sympathize with people's pain.

It's not enough to just see their need, you must feel their emotions. You must sympathize with their pain.

When he saw him, his heart was filled with pity.

Luke 10:33

First, his eyes kicked in. Then his ears and his heart kicked in, and he's filled with pity.

The Bible tells us "Weep with those who weep." In other words, share their sorrow. Enter into their emotion. Feel what they feel.

How do you do that? How do I increase my ability to be a more sensitive and more sympathetic person?

If sensitivity begins with your eyes, sympathy begins with your ears. It's learning to listen. Learning to listen is the secret of genuine sympathy. The better listener you become, the more sympathetic you become. Sometimes kindness is just listening.

Sympathy does two things. It meets two of your basic needs: the need to be understood and the need to have your feelings validated. Both human needs. The Bible says it like this: "Share each other's troubles and problems and in this way obey the law of Christ." What is the law of Christ? It's called the Great Commandment. "Love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself." Do you like sympathy? Of course you do. Do you like people to sympathize with you when you're hurting emotionally, physically, whatever? Of course you do. The Bible says do the same to others.

"God comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials so that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort that God has given us." So every problem you go through is an opportunity to learn how to be more sympathetic.

Rate yourself on your sympathy toward other people. One means "Needs work;" five means "Things are going great." How are you in your evaluation of sympathy?

3. Seize the moment.

Seize the moment to be kind. Don't wait. Don't delay. Don't procrastinate. Do what you can at that very moment.

"Kneeling beside him the Samaritan soothed his wounds with medicine and bandaged them." He took action. As we said last week: Love is something you do.

  1. Notice, he stooped down. In other words, he got on the man's level. He didn't pretend he was superior, and he didn't talk down to him.
  2. he uses what he had. Other translations say he dressed the man's wounds with wine and oil. Why? That's what he had on his donkey. The wine worked ok because it's alcohol. It's an antiseptic. The oil worked ok because it would be soothing to the wounds that he had.
  3. he dressed him with bandages. Where did he get the bandages? Obviously this guy's not a doctor. He doesn't have a first-aid kit. And the man has been stripped naked so he didn't have any clothes. The bandages are the Samaritan's own clothes. He takes his shirt off, rips it up and starts bandaging this poor unfortunate victim.

The point is: He did what he could with what he had at that particular point.

Never walk away from some one who deserves help. Your hand is God's hand for that person. Never tell your neighbors to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now.

Proverbs 3:27-28

Never walk away from somebody who deserves your help.

The Good Samaritan teaches two very profound lessons about kindness. If you want to genuinely become a kinder person, you must be willing to do two things:

1. You must be willing to be interrupted. Kindness doesn't happen on your schedule. It happens on their schedule. That's why they need kindness. At that moment, you've got to drop everything you've got.

  • Have you figured out that love is often inconvenient?
  • Have you figured out that kindness takes time? Sometimes to stop and be kind to somebody, your whole schedule for that day just goes out the window. Love is often inconvenient.

Anytime you want an excuse for being unkind, the devil will be right there to give you one. He will gladly give you a thousand excuses on why you don't have the time, energy, money, effort, whatever to do what needs to be done.

So what's your excuse? Notice the first verse again. "There was a man who was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho when robbers attacked him, stripped him, beat him up, leaving him half dead. It so happened that a priest was going down that road." That makes it sound like it was a circumstance that happened by chance. The luck of the draw. The roll of the dice. Sheer fate. It just so happened that a priest was going down the road when he was needed.

Nothing is accidental. God often brings people into your life at just the right time in the most bizarre set of circumstances where He weaves the destinies of two people together. Totally unplanned by you, but God planned it.

2. You must be willing to take risks. To be kind, you must be willing to take a risk. Many times, the one thing that keeps you from being kind is your own fears. Fear makes us unkind. The most cruel people are the most fearful people. So you have to look at your fears. Just imagine the fears the Good Samaritan could have had. They were all legitimate.

He could have said, "What if I go over and help this guy who's beaten up, naked, laying at the side of the road dying, what if the robbers are still here? I could lean down to help this guy, and they'll beat me up - take my clothes, take my donkey, take my riches. Legitimate fear.

He could have said, "What if I go over and help this guy and it's a trap? He jumps up and he beats me up and takes all my possessions and leaves me beside the side of the road. What if it's a trap? A decoy." A legitimate fear.

What if I go over to help this guy, and he rejects my help. He says, "I don't want your help! Leave me alone. You're a Samaritan." Jews and Samaritans were mortal enemies. They were divided by race, religion and politics. And they hated each other deeply.

Today, we'd say, "What if he sues me?" Legitimate fear.

The truth is: it's fear that makes us unkind. We need to deal with others, and we need to let God deal with us in love. The Bible says, "There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out all fear."

Jesus said it like this:

Always treat others as you would like them to treat you.

Matthew 7:12

That of course is the Golden Rule.

This is our memory verse for week 2 of the 50 Days of Love.

Let love be your greatest aim.

1 Corinthians 14:1

And the Golden Rule,

Always treat others as you would like them to treat you.

Matthew 7:12

Rate yourself on spontaneous kindness. How quick are you when you see a need, you sense a need, you sympathize with the need, how quickly do you spontaneously act?

Is this one where there's a little delay, and you have to think about it and say, "I'll write the letter in a month," or "I'll call in a week," or do you do it instantly? Rate yourself on that.

4. Spend whatever it takes.

There is always a cost to kindness. There is always a price tag. It inevitably causes you to sacrifice time or money or energy or reputation or something.

Then the man [the Good Samaritan] put the man on his own donkey and he took him to an inn where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two pieces of silver [These were denari, which were about two months worth of wages.] and he told him to take care of the man. 'If his bill runs higher than that,' he said, 'I'll pay the difference the next time I'm here.

Luke 10:34-35

This guy did all he could to take care of a total stranger. This guy did whatever he could to help, whatever it takes.

What did he gain from this? Nothing. He didn't even know this guy. He's a total stranger. He gains nothing back from him.

Kindness is when you do something for somebody without expecting anything back. So why be kind? Why should I be kind if people aren't always going to repay me?

I did a study of that question this week and I read every single verse on kindness in the Bible. I made a list of the many, many reasons why the Bible says you should be kind and the benefits of it. Let me give you few quickly. I should be kind because...

  • God has been kind to me.
  • The Bible says kindness is an act of worship.
  • The Bible says kindness honors God.
  • The Bible says kindness makes you happy.
  • In fact, the Bible says kindness makes you attractive. Proverbs 19:22 (Living Bible) "Kindness makes a man attractive."
  • The Bible says kindness makes other people want to be kind to you.
  • The Bible says God blesses kindness. In fact, over and over again in scripture, God says, I will repay you for any kindness you do to others.

If you feed the hungry and take care of the needs of those who are troubled, then your light will shine in the dark and the Lord will always lead you and He'll satisfy your needs in dry land. And you'll be like a spring that never runs dry.

Isaiah 50:8

God says this: "When you assume responsibility for the needs of hurting people around you," God says, "I guarantee to meet your needs."

"Your own soul is nourished when you are kind." God has promised many, many great benefits for kindness.

During these 50 Days of Love, we're not just thinking about love, talking about love, listening about love, studying about love. We're actually going to practice doing it. I told you last week, we're going to give you some projects as we go through these 50 days that you can chose from to work on. Here are some kindness projects you could work on even this week:

  1. You can donate blood for our community.
  2. You can prepare one of these Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes.
  3. You can participate in the week of prayer for our nation and for our church. This week we're going to pray in 15-minute increments all week for our nation and for our church.
  4. You can volunteer to help Lighthouse on weekends.

Whenever we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.

Galatians 6:10

Who's the family of believers? It's your church family. The Bible says be kind to everybody but give special attention to the family of believers who need your help.

Who needs your kindness this week?

Will you grow in kindness?

Prayer:

I'd like to invite you to follow me in this prayer right now. Just in your heart, say this in your mind: "Dear God, thank You for Your extravagant kindness to me. You sent Jesus Christ to die for me. I'm so grateful for that. Father, I don't want to be a cruel or an apathetic person. I really want to be more loving. Help me to take these four steps toward kindness today. Help me to slow down and start seeing and sensing the needs of people around me. Give me spiritual radar. Help me to be a better listener so I can sympathize with people. When interruptions come, help me to see them as opportunities to grow in kindness, to be more loving. Help me to be willing to take risks and move against my fears in order to help others. Starting today, I am making myself available to You to be used, to show Your kindness and love to others. In Your name, I pray. Amen."