Lighthouse Baptist Church
and Christian Academy

Tune in. Become aware of the needs around you. "Each of you should look not only to your own interest but also to the interests of others." Be aware. If you care, you'll be aware. Two things about this point:

1. Everybody's having a tough time. Everybody sitting around you is having a tough time, just in different areas.
2. The number one cause that keeps us from being kind is busyness. When I get too busy, I don't have time to be kind. I'm the least kind to my children, my wife, to other people. When I have my agenda, my goals, my desires, my thing - I've got to do what I've got to do and I don't have time to be kind.

What are the three greatest emotional needs of the people closest to you this last week, would you be able to answer? Kindness starts with a way of looking, be aware, be sensitive. If you care, you'll be aware.

Be supportive in your speech in the way you talk to people. "Kind words bring life but cruel words crush the spirit."

Do you remember how ruthless kids were on the playground when you went to school? They'd exploit every weakness, rub in every failure, go for the jugular. You'd be hurt, you'd go home and your mom would say, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words [or names] will never hurt me." That's not true. A broken bone heals faster than a broken spirit.

The Bible says "Kind words bring life but cruel words crush your spirit." Your words have a great power to heal or to hurt.

So how much do you support people with your words?

• Are you an encourager or are you a discourager?
• Do you lift people up or do you put them down?
• Do you give them strokes or pokes?
• Do you nag or do you brag on your children?

If God were to have a contest and said, "I'm going to give you a dollar for every kind word you said this last year. I'm going to take away a dollar for every critical word or negative word you said this last year." Would you be rich or poor? Some of you would be in the hole!

When you belittle people, when you put them down, you belittle you because you are being little!

Kind people share in the emotions of others.

When others are happy, be happy with them. When they're sad, share their sorrows.

Romans 12:15

When President Bush heard of the first casualties of the Iraq War, he cried. It bothered him that someone had died due to his decision. Then he called the families of the fallen soldier and cried with them.

The best thing you can do when somebody's grieving is to cry with them. Weep with those who weep. That's what it means to be kind. Rejoice with those who rejoice.

If you want to know the key to your teenager's heart, it's sympathy.

In teenage years, everything is a big deal. You get a pimple and it's a national crisis. They come to you and you say, "It's no big deal!" It's not, but it is to them. And it was to you, you just forgot how big a deal it was when you were a teenager.

If your teenager comes home and they've been jilted by some boyfriend or girlfriend and you say, "You'll get over it." The world hasn't ended but they think it has. You did too when you were a teenager.

The parents that I know that have the best relationships with their teenagers are those that treat as important the things their teenagers consider important. They don't downplay them saying, "It was no big deal. It's just a stage. You'll grow out of it."

Nine Ways of Offending Mom

1. Speaking harsh words to her
2. Belittling her opinion
3. Being unwilling to admit you're wrong
4. Taking her for granted
5. Making jokes or sarcastic comments at her expense
6. Not trusting her
7. Forcing her to do something she's uncomfortable with
8. Being rude to her in front of others
9. Ignoring her genuine needs as unimportant or not nearly as valuable as you're own

Be sensitive, be supportive, be sympathetic.

Sometimes kindness means being candid and frank, leveling with people, telling them where they're blowing it, where they're making the mistake.

Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy.

Proverbs 27:6

A good man may rebuke me in kindness.

Psalm 145:5

The Top Ten Dishonoring Acts in a Home

Kindness is often straightforward.

"A good man may rebuke me in kindness." Care enough to make a difference.

If you're going to be a kind person you need to be sensitive and you need to be supportive and you need to be sympathetic and you need to be straightforward.

Don't wait to do a kind act. When you've got time to do it, do it. Do it now.

As we have the opportunity let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers.

Galatians 6:10

When should I be kind? Obvious. Whenever you see a need.

In 80% of all homes, men primarily relate to their wives using language of the head while women tend to speak a language of the heart.

Men tend to be logical, factual, and detail oriented. In general when a man runs out of facts to talk about in a conversation, he often stops talking. Usually men don't have as much of a need to share as deeply or consistently as do their wives.

Nor do they have the need to speak the same number of words their wives do. Some studies have shown that the average woman speaks roughly 25,000 words a day while the average man speaks only 12,500.

What this can mean in a marriage is that a woman is often left holding her cup out for meaningful conversation day after day and drawing it back with only a few drops to nourish her.

Men, when you learn to bridge both worlds

• It makes positive changes in your life
• It decreases unnecessary stress that accompanies poor or busy conversation

Kindness always costs. There's always a price tag to kindness. It's not just a free thing. But as I said earlier, I believe the number one enemy of kindness is busyness. We get so busy we don't have time for anything except our own personal agenda.

Who can you be kind to this week? You look all around you and there are people that are discouraged, people that are hurting and bleeding. You just need to open your eyes.

How about at home?
How about at work?
Or the guy who's unkind to you at work.
How about at school?
How about at church? Do you speak to people you don't know?
How about that friend who doesn't know Jesus Christ?

The Christian life is the life of kindness. The Bible tells us in Titus 3:4 "Jesus Christ is the kindness of God." Jesus is the kindness of God incarnate, in flesh, in person, in a body. If you're ever going to be like Jesus Christ, you've got to learn to be kind. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 2, "Husbands, kindness is the mark of spiritual leadership."

I don't care how many Bible verses you know, if you're not being kind to your wife, kind to your kids, you're missing the boat.

When was the last time you:

• Washed dishes,
• Washed, dried, and folded a load of clothes
• Dusted the house
• Cleaned a commode or tub
• Run the sweeper in every room of the house

The mark of leadership is kindness.
The mark of Christlikeness is kindness. Love in action.

Couple of projects:

1. I challenge you to find a place to serve. Find a place where you can give out, give back. Where you can say, "This is what I'm going to do, not because I get anything out of it. I just do it as an act of kindness." Is there anything you're doing like that for the Lord? Just out of an act of kindness?
2. Then, this week, I want you to do seven secret acts of kindness to somebody around you and don't tell them who did it. Don't even hint. "Honey, did you notice the flowers?" ... "Did you notice the bathroom was clean?" ... "Did you notice the car was washed?" ... "Did you notice that you went out shopping for three hours and the baby's diaper had actually been changed?" Do seven acts of kindness and don't tell anybody. Get your joy from the Lord.

Father, we thank You for Mother's Day and for mothers. The fact is none of us would be here if You hadn't used human instruments of mothers and fathers. Lord, we know that our mothers aren't perfect, but they did the best they could and we thank You that You used them to bring each of us into the world. Thank You for their kindness.

We ask You regardless for us to be kind to them and to others. Lord, we thank You for these families who have made this commitment today of their families to say, "We're going to raise our family in a godly way." Thank You for these men who say, "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." We thank You for their public statement to say, "We want to do what's right and raise our children in the right way in a world where there is so many wrong values."

Lord, I pray that each of us would be like Jesus, that we would be kind this week, that that would be a living testimony, that we would be living Bibles, that each person would find a place of service and ministry. We look at these young children and see how their lives are being shaped here. The future generation is waiting to be led and taught and molded. Help us to be like Jesus this week, for we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.